Personally Christmas isn’t my favorite time of the year.
I don’t get those happy feelings around family & friends. Nor do I enjoy being around them. I’m honestly a bitter person. This does not brin me joy or happiness. I feel empty and alone. Who is here right? Who is talking to me? My family isn’t even together right now? One is off with her own “family”, the other is pretend everything is alright, and lastly the third is not giving a fuck about life. So where is the coming together? We are separated doing our own lives, none of us can even come together to pretend everything is alright. Christmas has never been an amazing experience for me, that’s why I’m here in my room under my blanket doing absolutely nothing. I do have one thing to say, giving does help fill the void of my aloneness; giving gifts to everyone does bring light to my day. Anyways what’s sad is I’m always hoping for that magical Christmas experience but every year it never comes. I just want to feel that warm sweet family welcoming. Still waiting for it.
I feel when you’re around me. I can’t tell if I dislike you a lot or I just hate you now.